This venerable one is the Moon Supreme of the Moon Tribe, the most powerful being in the Three Realms, and Captain of the Corsair ship the Phantom Moon | 月幻影.
NOTE
Do not bother this venerable one with idle chatter.
[Of course people saw him as a monster. He killed his own father. It was one of the worst and most heinous of crimes. Almost unimaginable. For someone who could do that, there was nothing that could be taboo. And it wasn't.
G'raha had wiped out a future, but he hadn't stood over the body of his parent holding the sword that had killed them and felt nothing. He couldn't understand what made Daqiang a monster. What made all the people of Cangyanhai and Shuiyuntian see him as one.
A shuddering breath was inhaled slowly. His thumbs brushed acorss G'raha's cheeks. He didn't really want G'raha to loathe him. He wanted...
He wanted to stop hurting so much.
He wanted someone to choose him first.
He wanted- wanted- wanted-
He wanted too much. That was the real problem, wasn't it? That he wanted. That he felt. That he'd put off attempting to destroy his emotions for as long as he had. That he was still finding excuses to delay.
Another deep breath in. Out.
He pulled his head away from G'raha and opened his eyes to look down at him. He brushed hair back from the face that had brought him peace when he would have had none during the last few months.]
Okay.
[Daqiang nodded. He wasn't going to convince G'raha to run away. To hate him. He didn't need to. He just needed to stop feeling. G'raha didn't have to do anything for that.]
You... your lover does not wish you to belong to this venerable one. Has said you do not.
[ Foreheads pressing against one another is a very Miqo'te thing. G'raha has slipped into the habit more often here than he ever has in the past. Thus it doesn't really occur to him that there might be more to it. However, the thumbs on his cheeks. The deep breathing, the grounding process that was happening before him... G'raha is starting to think that perhaps he had been misreading Daqiang's intentions for a while.
What is happening here? G'raha is looking at Daqiang with concern, because it feels like the man is giving in far too easily. The stubbornness that he is accustomed to is turning into something resigned. But what is it that Daqiang is resigning himself to?
His ears fold back and then lift. G'raha repeats the motion several times, as if trying to understand what point Daqiang is driving at. ]
That... That goes back to what your intentions are by the claim. To Zack, it felt as though your approach exceeded platonic or a concerned companion.
[ But his fingers curl into fabric even further. ]
[Daqaing dropped his hands to cover G'raha's where they gripped his clothes. He held them as gently as he knew how and shook his head.]
In this world, you have watched over this venerable one when he has been at his weakest. This venerable one has trusted you when he could trust no one. If you say you belong to this venerable one, then you belong to him. However you wish to belong to him.
If that is... if that is as family...
[He took a deep and heavy breath because it made his chest constrict to think of G'raha and family when family had only ever betrayed and hurt him. He did not want one of the only people he could trust to be in a position that led to more betrayal. But for G'raha, family did not mean betrayal]
[ Eyes drop down to those hands covering his own. Then he looks back up at Daqiang. Tilts his head to the side. ]
Daqiang, you may not see it but until recently you and I are quite similar. I hid myself behind a façade so that I would not have to acknowledge my own sorrows. For a time I thought of myself as a tool or a means to an end rather than a person. I was ready to entomb myself for an eternity or die in an explosion of corrupting Light.
[ His hands shift so that he can take hold of the other man's. Gives them a squeeze. ]
Then someone called my name. My name and the years that I had spent building a wall between myself and all else shattered. I see you and I see much the same with these walls... Thus I will not cease to keep my hand stretched out for yours. If the label of "family" is too much for you to reconcile with, then call me friend. Confidant. Accept that I will not hurt you as your family has and that I will return to this place because it is where you, one of my dearest companions, are.
[Because it is G'raha that is promising it, Daqiang does his best to accept it. To trust that his words are true. That he will not hurt him... betray him... use him.]
This venerable one already calls you friend. But he does not allow his other friends the same privileges he allows you.
[And G'raha had a lover. And Daqiang... Daqiang craved Orchid's attention in a way he did not G'raha's. Though he did very much dislike that G'raha had another to turn to, and it made him uncomfortable to think about others touching him in the way of lovers... he also did not want G'raha's attention in a way that made him want to stake his claim on him as he had Orchid in front of Cid. He didn't feel the need to fight for it so fiercely. Perhaps because G'raha gave his attention to Daqiang so freely?
Daqiang was not familiar with what these affections in his heart meant. The differences in them. But he was a learned scholar. He knew that there were those who were friends. and those who were... zhiji. It was not rare for someone to have a soulmate - a close confident and companion. But for Daqiang, it was not something he would have claimed for himself. Who could possibly understand him? He was the most powerful being in the world. The most feared. The most admired. And the most hated.
Who could he possibly be friends with to have that understanding form?
In another world, his world, he would not have what G'raha was offering. Could not.]
In this venerable one's world, there is something called 'zhījǐ'. It means... someone who knows you as you know yourself. There is an understanding that others struggle to share. It is as close to family as one can be without sharing blood or marriage.
[ There's a brief flicker of a smile at Daqiang admitting that much. ]
Yes, I may have picked up on that some time ago. Realize you are one of three that I allow to fuss over me as much as you have and get away with it.
[ He knows that there is much that Daqiang needs to work out for himself. That there are emotions and matters that Raha cannot help him work through. G'raha had to do the same, when G'raha Tia and the Crystal Exarch first came into contact with one another. There had been much reconciling that the two versions of the same soul had to do in order to become who he is today. Many emotions and the like to sort and sift through.
So who else can understand? G'raha, who sacrificed his body for the future of the star? Who brought death upon himself so that another could have a path forward? A man who had only held value because of the power of his eye(s), to the point where he had faced scorn as a child. Removed from his home because Garlemald could not be allowed to possess him? G'raha, who has been forced to shoulder the dreams and hopes of others... A man who had a great responsibility to the point where he had lost himself?
He listens to Daqiang and this term that he brings up. "Someone who knows you as you know yourself." An apt thing, perhaps. As close to family as one can be. This is what Daqiang would offer without his personal feelings behind the term "family."
G'raha nods. ]
Miqo'te don't have a word for such things, but I can offer a gesture that holds significance. My name roughly translates to Raha, Tia of the G Tribe. Those that are family, partners, and those that are as close to family as one can be without sharing blood may call a Miqo'te by their true name. So you may do so as well.
[ There comes a nod in response. People back home would know this of Miqo'te. It's not something that he has really explained here, save for two individuals. ]
Aye, that it is. Though I daresay I never told you the titles that I hold. Krile and a man named Rammbroes are the only ones from home that do so now. Call me by my more intimate name, that is.
This venerable one... will hold your name close, Raha.
[He squeezed the hands he was holding before releasing them and stepping back from G'raha. Or attempted to, anyway. G'raha's grip on his clothes would determine just how far he got.]
You should... not stay. We have talked. So tonight, you should not stay.
[He didn't want G'raha to go, but he knew that he shouldn't stay. Even if he couldn't bring himself to say 'go back to your boyfriend and reassure him'.]
[ He'd be allowed to step further back. The grip that G'raha has on those robes falls away and even he is taking a step backwards. ]
I wasn't intending to. While I consider you and I to be close, my heart is his. If his own aches then so, too, does mine along with it. I would do nothing to jeopardize what he and I have.
[ If it isn't clear about where his heart lies in all of this. G'raha is making it known that while Daqiang is someone he considers very important and their friendship means so much... He loves Zack. ]
[It is something Daqiang cannot fault G'raha for. Much as he wants to nurse the hurt of not being chosen first, he is used to it. And more still... he understood it. G'raha had someone he loved. Daqiang didn't know all the ways of love, but he understood that. That someone being chosen first.
He nodded and crossed his arms. Kept his eyes down. But did not turn his back.
It was G'raha who was leaving first.
And Daqiang would give him the respect of watching. Of accepting.]
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no subject
G'raha had wiped out a future, but he hadn't stood over the body of his parent holding the sword that had killed them and felt nothing. He couldn't understand what made Daqiang a monster. What made all the people of Cangyanhai and Shuiyuntian see him as one.
A shuddering breath was inhaled slowly. His thumbs brushed acorss G'raha's cheeks. He didn't really want G'raha to loathe him. He wanted...
He wanted to stop hurting so much.
He wanted someone to choose him first.
He wanted- wanted- wanted-
He wanted too much. That was the real problem, wasn't it? That he wanted. That he felt. That he'd put off attempting to destroy his emotions for as long as he had. That he was still finding excuses to delay.
Another deep breath in. Out.
He pulled his head away from G'raha and opened his eyes to look down at him. He brushed hair back from the face that had brought him peace when he would have had none during the last few months.]
Okay.
[Daqiang nodded. He wasn't going to convince G'raha to run away. To hate him. He didn't need to. He just needed to stop feeling. G'raha didn't have to do anything for that.]
You... your lover does not wish you to belong to this venerable one. Has said you do not.
no subject
What is happening here? G'raha is looking at Daqiang with concern, because it feels like the man is giving in far too easily. The stubbornness that he is accustomed to is turning into something resigned. But what is it that Daqiang is resigning himself to?
His ears fold back and then lift. G'raha repeats the motion several times, as if trying to understand what point Daqiang is driving at. ]
That... That goes back to what your intentions are by the claim. To Zack, it felt as though your approach exceeded platonic or a concerned companion.
[ But his fingers curl into fabric even further. ]
Daqiang, talk to me. Please.
no subject
In this world, you have watched over this venerable one when he has been at his weakest. This venerable one has trusted you when he could trust no one. If you say you belong to this venerable one, then you belong to him. However you wish to belong to him.
If that is... if that is as family...
[He took a deep and heavy breath because it made his chest constrict to think of G'raha and family when family had only ever betrayed and hurt him. He did not want one of the only people he could trust to be in a position that led to more betrayal. But for G'raha, family did not mean betrayal]
This venerable one will accept it as such.
no subject
Daqiang, you may not see it but until recently you and I are quite similar. I hid myself behind a façade so that I would not have to acknowledge my own sorrows. For a time I thought of myself as a tool or a means to an end rather than a person. I was ready to entomb myself for an eternity or die in an explosion of corrupting Light.
[ His hands shift so that he can take hold of the other man's. Gives them a squeeze. ]
Then someone called my name. My name and the years that I had spent building a wall between myself and all else shattered. I see you and I see much the same with these walls... Thus I will not cease to keep my hand stretched out for yours. If the label of "family" is too much for you to reconcile with, then call me friend. Confidant. Accept that I will not hurt you as your family has and that I will return to this place because it is where you, one of my dearest companions, are.
no subject
This venerable one already calls you friend. But he does not allow his other friends the same privileges he allows you.
[And G'raha had a lover. And Daqiang... Daqiang craved Orchid's attention in a way he did not G'raha's. Though he did very much dislike that G'raha had another to turn to, and it made him uncomfortable to think about others touching him in the way of lovers... he also did not want G'raha's attention in a way that made him want to stake his claim on him as he had Orchid in front of Cid. He didn't feel the need to fight for it so fiercely. Perhaps because G'raha gave his attention to Daqiang so freely?
Daqiang was not familiar with what these affections in his heart meant. The differences in them. But he was a learned scholar. He knew that there were those who were friends. and those who were... zhiji. It was not rare for someone to have a soulmate - a close confident and companion. But for Daqiang, it was not something he would have claimed for himself. Who could possibly understand him? He was the most powerful being in the world. The most feared. The most admired. And the most hated.
Who could he possibly be friends with to have that understanding form?
In another world, his world, he would not have what G'raha was offering. Could not.]
In this venerable one's world, there is something called 'zhījǐ'. It means... someone who knows you as you know yourself. There is an understanding that others struggle to share. It is as close to family as one can be without sharing blood or marriage.
no subject
Yes, I may have picked up on that some time ago. Realize you are one of three that I allow to fuss over me as much as you have and get away with it.
[ He knows that there is much that Daqiang needs to work out for himself. That there are emotions and matters that Raha cannot help him work through. G'raha had to do the same, when G'raha Tia and the Crystal Exarch first came into contact with one another. There had been much reconciling that the two versions of the same soul had to do in order to become who he is today. Many emotions and the like to sort and sift through.
So who else can understand? G'raha, who sacrificed his body for the future of the star? Who brought death upon himself so that another could have a path forward? A man who had only held value because of the power of his eye(s), to the point where he had faced scorn as a child. Removed from his home because Garlemald could not be allowed to possess him? G'raha, who has been forced to shoulder the dreams and hopes of others... A man who had a great responsibility to the point where he had lost himself?
He listens to Daqiang and this term that he brings up. "Someone who knows you as you know yourself." An apt thing, perhaps. As close to family as one can be. This is what Daqiang would offer without his personal feelings behind the term "family."
G'raha nods. ]
Miqo'te don't have a word for such things, but I can offer a gesture that holds significance. My name roughly translates to Raha, Tia of the G Tribe. Those that are family, partners, and those that are as close to family as one can be without sharing blood may call a Miqo'te by their true name. So you may do so as well.
no subject
[He asked, eyes finally coming up to meet G'raha's once more.]
Your 'true name' is Raha? Is this what could be called your personal name? Without titles or surname?
[He wanted to be certain the translation the magic of the world provided was correct for his understanding.]
no subject
Aye, that it is. Though I daresay I never told you the titles that I hold. Krile and a man named Rammbroes are the only ones from home that do so now. Call me by my more intimate name, that is.
no subject
[He squeezed the hands he was holding before releasing them and stepping back from G'raha. Or attempted to, anyway. G'raha's grip on his clothes would determine just how far he got.]
You should... not stay. We have talked. So tonight, you should not stay.
[He didn't want G'raha to go, but he knew that he shouldn't stay. Even if he couldn't bring himself to say 'go back to your boyfriend and reassure him'.]
no subject
I wasn't intending to. While I consider you and I to be close, my heart is his. If his own aches then so, too, does mine along with it. I would do nothing to jeopardize what he and I have.
[ If it isn't clear about where his heart lies in all of this. G'raha is making it known that while Daqiang is someone he considers very important and their friendship means so much... He loves Zack. ]
So, tonight, I will be going first.
no subject
He nodded and crossed his arms. Kept his eyes down. But did not turn his back.
It was G'raha who was leaving first.
And Daqiang would give him the respect of watching. Of accepting.]